Nine years have passed since my closest friend took her own life.
For nine years I have been incapable of keeping anyone closer than arms length. Family, partners, friends. Even myself.
Its something that bounced around my head as soon as my thoughts were clear enough to process the sudden loss. "How will I ever be able to replace her?" "I'll never be able to open up enough to someone else like I did with her." "Nobody else can ever take her place, I cant let them" "I cant ever let this hap