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I suck at being a girl

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Sloppy Mommy


Whos genius idea was it to let me have a V●●●●●? 

I can't pick out cute clothing for myself.

I can't do makeup worth a damn, not even lipstick. You might wonder "How can you f●●● up lipstick?!" You'll  just have to trust me there.

Can't contour my face worth a damn.

Eyebrows are always too light or misshapen because I can't do that S●●● either. 

I don't typically drink, but when I do decide to drink, I can put down some beer, because f●●● fruity drinks. they nasty.

Invite me over, and your fridge better put out an S.O.S because I'm a big girl and can eat my weight in food. THAT S●●● BE EMPTY! YEET! 

To meet me in real life, you might discover that I f●●●ing love the word f●●● and will use it and other profanity when I can.

Most days I feel like I should be a dude, basically, I'm a dude. 



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