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Stop Watching Onision

I busted up laughing repeatedly writing this script. When I started, I wasn't even planning on having the twist, the original joke was "Let's just say a bunch of crazy things." but later, it turned into something much more beautiful:

So apparently there is a major celebrity out there causing trouble... so people seem to say/believe. Personally I don't believe much of anything these days outside hard evidence, like Chris Brown & Rhianna, that was like "Ok, this guy is messed up." but for some reason, a lot of folks are cool with just going on hear-say with folks like Johnny Depp and numerous other HUGE celebrities, and I'm like, bro? No dude. I just want to enjoy my movie.


Regardless, here's the original script for Immortals and Elites:

John: Do you watch Onision?


Sherry: No, he’s the worst.


John: Why?


Sherry: Bad breath.


John: Still watching him.


Sherry: Farts a lot.


John: Don’t care, still watching.


Sherry: Bites people.


John: He bites people?


Sherry: Yeah they almost draw blood.


John: …still watching him.


Sherry: Ok well he slapped his mom.


John: Where?


Sherry: In the face.


John: No like what GPS location.


Sherry: Shut the fuck up.


John: Huhuhuhuh.


Sherry: Onision kicked a puppy.


John: How hard?


Sherry: Are you fucking kidding right now?


John: What?


Sherry: Did you just ask me how hard Onision kicked a puppy just now? Like it matters?


John: Could of been a little tap is all.


Sherry: A LITTLE TAP???


John: I’m still watching him.


Sherry: He choked out a Canadian gang banger.


John: Ok. Still watching him.


Sherry: He shot mall Santa.


John: Did the mall Santa survive?


Sherry: DID THE MALL SANTA SURVIVE??


John: That’s what I asked.


Sherry: So if the mall Santa didn’t survive, are you going to stop watching Onision?


John: No.


Sherry: Then why did you ask!?!?


John: I donno.


Sherry: You don’t know? Really?


John: No clue.


Sherry: He had a mad cult koolaide drinking thing.


John: He survived?


Sherry: He put water in his own cup just so he could watch all his followers die.


John: Savage.


Sherry: Savage? Mass murder is savage?


John: I mean that is what the word savage means.


Sherry: Oh… well Onision also ate a human baby.


John: Legs first?


Sherry: LEGS FIRST??


John: You repeat the things I say a lot.


Sherry: What would get you to stop watching Onision?


John: Well I don’t want to boycott DC comics just because of one actor.


Sherry: What the fuck are you talking about?


John: Yeah Onision plays the Flash.


Sherry: You mean Ezra Miller?


John: Oh yeah, that guy.


Sherry: You thought Onision was Ezra Miller?


John: Yeah…


Sherry: So you’re a fan of Ezra Miller?


John: Yeah, why?


Sherry: *clears throat* EZRA MILLER IS THE WORST FIRST HE ABDUCTED A…


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4 Comments


Unknown member
Jun 15, 2022

Two cute characters. Love this.


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Unknown member
Jun 15, 2022

Haha! I'll never stop watching your videos no matter how many rumors there are. Rumors won't stop me from enjoying what I enjoy.

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Unknown member
Jun 15, 2022
Replying to

Same! Also I'm the same way about not believing much of anything if there's no evidence. I don't like obsessing over which celebrity did this or that.

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