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Stop Watching Onision

I busted up laughing repeatedly writing this script. When I started, I wasn't even planning on having the twist, the original joke was "Let's just say a bunch of crazy things." but later, it turned into something much more beautiful:

So apparently there is a major celebrity out there causing trouble... so people seem to say/believe. Personally I don't believe much of anything these days outside hard evidence, like Chris Brown & Rhianna, that was like "Ok, this guy is messed up." but for some reason, a lot of folks are cool with just going on hear-say with folks like Johnny Depp and numerous other HUGE celebrities, and I'm like, bro? No dude. I just want to enjoy my movie.

Regardless, here's the original script for Immortals and Elites:

John: Do you watch Onision?

Sherry: No, he’s the worst.

John: Why?

Sherry: Bad breath.

John: Still watching him.

Sherry: Farts a lot.

John: Don’t care, still watching.

Sherry: Bites people.

John: He bites people?

Sherry: Yeah they almost draw blood.

John: …still watching him.

Sherry: Ok well he slapped his mom.

John: Where?

Sherry: In the face.

John: No like what GPS location.

Sherry: Shut the fuck up.

John: Huhuhuhuh.

Sherry: Onision kicked a puppy.

John: How hard?

Sherry: Are you fucking kidding right now?

John: What?

Sherry: Did you just ask me how hard Onision kicked a puppy just now? Like it matters?

John: Could of been a little tap is all.

Sherry: A LITTLE TAP???

John: I’m still watching him.

Sherry: He choked out a Canadian gang banger.

John: Ok. Still watching him.

Sherry: He shot mall Santa.

John: Did the mall Santa survive?


John: That’s what I asked.

Sherry: So if the mall Santa didn’t survive, are you going to stop watching Onision?

John: No.

Sherry: Then why did you ask!?!?

John: I donno.

Sherry: You don’t know? Really?

John: No clue.

Sherry: He had a mad cult koolaide drinking thing.

John: He survived?

Sherry: He put water in his own cup just so he could watch all his followers die.

John: Savage.

Sherry: Savage? Mass murder is savage?

John: I mean that is what the word savage means.

Sherry: Oh… well Onision also ate a human baby.

John: Legs first?

Sherry: LEGS FIRST??

John: You repeat the things I say a lot.

Sherry: What would get you to stop watching Onision?

John: Well I don’t want to boycott DC comics just because of one actor.

Sherry: What the fuck are you talking about?

John: Yeah Onision plays the Flash.

Sherry: You mean Ezra Miller?

John: Oh yeah, that guy.

Sherry: You thought Onision was Ezra Miller?

John: Yeah…

Sherry: So you’re a fan of Ezra Miller?

John: Yeah, why?



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Unknown member
Jun 15, 2022

Two cute characters. Love this.


Unknown member
Jun 15, 2022

Haha! I'll never stop watching your videos no matter how many rumors there are. Rumors won't stop me from enjoying what I enjoy.

Unknown member
Jun 15, 2022
Replying to

Same! Also I'm the same way about not believing much of anything if there's no evidence. I don't like obsessing over which celebrity did this or that.

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