Take time to love yourself. Take yourself on dates, take yourself shopping or doing something fun. I know it's ideal to be with someone constantly, I know because I have dependent personality disorder but sometimes you need to step back and take care of yourself first. Your ex is a narcissist. I know because I've lived with one for almost 10 years. You need to get a protection from abuse order, contact a local shelter for victims of sexual abuse & domestic abuse, they will help you every step of the way in your recovery. They will also find a advocate to go to court with you to get these orders put in place so you don't have to do this alone. I'm here if you want to talk.