In 1995, psychologist and science journalist Daniel Goleman published a book introducing most of the world to the nascent concept of emotional intelligence. The idea--that an ability to understand and manage emotions greatly increases our chances of success--quickly took off, and it went on to greatly influence the way people think about emotions and human behavior.
But what does emotional intelligence look like, as manifested in everyday life?
1. You think about feelings.
Emotional intelligence begins with what is called self- and social awareness, the ability to recognize emotions (and their impact) in both yourself and others.
That awareness begins with reflection. You ask questions like:
What are my emotional strengths? What are my weaknesses?
How does my current mood affect my thoughts and decision making?
What's going on under the surface that influences what others say or do?
Pondering questions like these yield valuable insights that can be used to your advantage.
2. You pause.
The pause is as simple as taking a moment to stop and think before you speak or act. (Easy in theory, difficult in practice.) This can help save you from embarrassing moments or from making commitments too quickly.
In other words, pausing helps you refrain from making a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.
3. You strive to control your thoughts.
You don't have much control over the emotion you experience in a given moment. But you can control your reaction to those emotions--by focusing on your thoughts. (As it's been said: You can't prevent a bird from landing on your head, but you can keep it from building a nest.)
By striving to control your thoughts, you resist becoming a slave to your emotions, allowing yourself to live in a way that's in harmony with your goals and values.
4. You benefit from criticism.
Nobody enjoys negative feedback. But you know that criticism is a chance to learn, even if it's not delivered in the best way. And even when it's unfounded, it gives you a window into how others think.
When you receive negative feedback, you keep your emotions in check and ask yourself: How can this make me better?
5. You show authenticity.
Authenticity doesn't mean sharing everything about yourself, to everyone, all of the time. It does mean saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and sticking to your values and principles above all else.
You know not everyone will appreciate your sharing your thoughts and feelings. But the ones who matter will.
7. You praise others.
All humans crave acknowledgement and appreciation. When you commend others, you satisfy that craving and build trust in the process.
This all begins when you focus on the good in others. Then, by sharing specifically what you appreciate, you inspire them to be the best version of themselves.
8. You give helpful feedback.
Negative feedback has great potential to hurt the feelings of others. Realizing this, you reframe criticism as constructive feedback, so the recipient sees it as helpful instead of harmful.
9. You apologize.
It takes strength and courage to be able to say you're sorry. But doing so demonstrates humility, a quality that will naturally draw others to you.
Emotional intelligence helps you realize that apologizing doesn't always mean you're wrong. It does mean valuing your relationship more than your ego.
10. You forgive and forget.
Hanging on to resentment is like leaving a knife inside a wound. While the offending party moves on with their life, you never give yourself the chance to heal.
When you forgive and forget, you prevent others from holding your emotions hostage--allowing you to move forward.
11. You keep your commitments.
It's common nowadays for people to break an agreement or commitment when they feel like it. Of course, bailing on an evening of Netflix with a friend will cause less harm than breaking a promise to your child or missing a major business deadline.
But when you make a habit of keeping your word--in things big and small--you develop a strong reputation for reliability and trustworthiness.
12. You help others.
One of the greatest ways to positively impact the emotions of others is to help them.
Most people don't really care where you graduated from, or even about your previous accomplishments. But what about the hours you're willing to take out of your schedule to listen or help out? Your readiness to get down in the trenches and work alongside them?
Actions like these build trust and inspire others to follow your lead when it counts.
13. You protect yourself from emotional sabotage.
You realize that emotional intelligence also has a dark side--such as when individuals attempt to manipulate others' emotions to promote a personal agenda or for some other selfish cause.
And that's why you continue to sharpen your own emotional intelligence--to protect yourself when they do.
Nobody likes a know-it-all, but new research shows that people who are able to admit that their own knowledge and views might not be correct, are actually more knowledgeable.
The new study, led by first author and psychologist Elizabeth J. Krumrei-Mancuso from Pepperdine University, examines the concept of intellectual humility, which can be characterised as accepting one's intellectual fallibility in an open and level-headed way.
The opposite of such humility is intellectual overconfidence: being certain you are right about things. But while confidence about the things you think and believe is good, overconfidence can actually be a problem for the knowledge you are so sure you possess.
"Research demonstrates that those who believe knowledge is certain are likely to incorrectly draw definitive conclusions from ambiguous evidence," Krumrei-Mancuso and her co-authors explain in their new paper.
"That is, individuals tend to distort information to fit their epistemological beliefs, which can affect their interpretation of information and knowledge acquisition."
But if you're intellectually humble, what does that say about your knowledge and your cognitive ability?
"When it comes to beliefs, people tend to appreciate others being open-minded, yet they may also view people who are unsure about their beliefs as weak or they may view those who change their viewpoint as unstable or manipulative," Krumrei-Mancuso explained to PsyPost.
"This research was motivated out of a desire to understand the potential value of intellectual humility. Does it benefit us to recognise our intellectual fallibility?"
To find out, Krumrei-Mancuso and her team ran five separate experiments involving almost 1,200 participants in total, designed to examine the various links between intellectual humility and learning.
In the research, survey respondents were asked a series of questions, and rated on a intellectual humility scale developed by the researchers.
"The scale consists of a Knowing-It-All subscale (con-trait), assessing excessive attitudes of intellectual superiority, and an Intellectual Openness subscale (pro-trait), assessing openness to learning from others," the researchers write.
What the results ultimately showed is that intellectual humility seems to have a mixed effect on people's ability to acquire knowledge.
Being intellectually humble was associated with better scores in a test that assessed general knowledge, but it seemed to be unrelated to participants' cognitive ability. This surprised the researchers, who thought they would see a link between the two.
The fact that intellectual humility was linked to general knowledge but not cognitive ability could suggest that the former is associated with crystallised intelligence (learned skills and knowledge), but not fluid intelligence (problem-solving ability), the researchers conclude.
In other words, intellectual humility "was associated with more accurate assessment of one's general knowledge," Krumrei-Mancuso told Psypost.
"That is, knowing (and being willing to admit!) what you don't know may be the first step to seeking new knowledge."
That sounds like a good thing – and it is – but intellectual humility might come with some issues.
In one of the studies, the trait was also linked with having a lower grade point average (GPA). It's not entirely clear why that is, but the researchers hypothesise that the cohort of honours students used in the study might have affected the results somehow.
Another finding was that intellectually humble people underestimated their cognitive ability.
On the whole, the researchers acknowledge more studies needed to be done to understand how intellectual humility affects knowledge, cognition, and our ability to learn new things, but we have at least some new positive data about the trait – which is important, since humility can have a broader effect on society as a whole.
"Intellectual humility can contribute to social goods in a number of ways," Krumrei-Mancuso explained in a blog post in January.
"Intellectual humility extends beyond perceptions of people's opinions to perceptions of people, which has implications for social attitudes and possibly social behaviors.
"This can go a long way toward helping people treat others with civility and benevolence, even in the face of persistent disagreement."
The findings are reported in The Journal of Positive Psychology.
Just thought it would be a good read because that’s what articles are for and learning new things.😊
Clothing and art website RedBubble is slammed for selling $69 T-shirts, $39 mini-skirts, pillows and tote bags with AUSCHWITZ images printed on themBy Guest
“Red Bubble has been criticized for offering $69 T-shirts with the haunting black and white images of the site where 1.1 million Jews were exterminated between 1942 and 1945, during the Nazi's 'Final Solution'.
Other deeply offensive and macabre products, such as skirts depicting the chimneys near where the bodies of Nazi victims were incinerated, can be purchased for $39.
Tote bags and pillows showing the tracks leading up to the Auschwitz sub-camp Birkenau are on offer for $10 and $30, respectively.
A spokesperson for the Auschwitz museum in Poland condemned the products as 'disturbing and disrespectful.'
Tweeting the site directly, they said: 'Do you really think that selling such products as pillows, mini skirts or tote bags with the images of Auschwitz - a place of enormous human tragedy where over 1.1 million people were murdered - is acceptable? This is rather disturbing and disrespectful.
Digital colorist Marina Amaral also attacked the products, labeling them 'disgusting'.
Another Twitter user labelled the items 'nauseating,' while Terry Banet said: 'I can’t really wrap my head around why someone would do this.' “
Full article here: I think it’s just terrible.... why would anyone think that’s a good idea... no to all this. Just disgusted by this.
RIP KURT COBAIN. you are deeply missed.
NOOOOOOOO NOT MY BABY NUHH O GODDD WHYYY NUH NOT EVAN
We may be in for a very different season nine of American Horror Story.
For the first time ever, Evan Peters is sitting the season out, or so he told a reporter at WonderCon over the weekend when he asked if Peters is involved in the new season.
"No, I'm going to sit a season out," Peters says in a short clip posted on Twitter by a producer for Extra.
It's not much of a surprise that Peters is taking a break. The actor, who is appearing as Quicksilver in the upcoming Dark Phoenix movie, had opened up to GQ last year about feeling "exhausted" by sinister roles like the ones he plays in AHS.
"It's just exhausting. It's really mentally draining, and you don't want to go to those places ever in your life," he told the magazine. "And so you have to go there for the scenes, and it ends up integrating it somehow into your life. You're in traffic and you find yourself screaming and you're like, What the hell? This isn't who I am."
More recently, Peters talked to GQ Style about those quotes and that interview in general and what he was feeling when he said those things, and said he plans to "take a break."
"I think it was a full-on burnout," he said. "I'm going to take a break, regroup, decompress, get back in touch with what I feel like I want to do. Not that I didn't want to do any of those roles – they're exactly what I wanted to do. It was just zero to 100 instantaneously. I want to play music."
We are all for taking some mental health time to decompress, so if that's what Peters is doing, we'll happily take a season of American Horror Storywithout him.
The only confirmed cast members for season nine are currently Gus Kenworthy and Emma Roberts, who recently split with Peters. They will be playing boyfriend and girlfriend. Until now, it had been assumed that Peters and Sarah Paulson would also be a part of the cast.
No theme has been hinted at as of yet, but as of FX's TV Critics Association press day in February, Ryan Murphy had at least shared his idea for the season with the network, so that's something!
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