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Adam159900

I'm going to just vent a little...

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Well if you know me you know I have "depression" or something I guess. If you don't well I might have "depression" or something. So I just gotta say that I am just mad at myself. I never went through anything traumatic or significantly terrible to give me this  "depression".  That is what just pisses me off. It just f●●●ing happened. Makes me feel like a dumb f●●●ing b●●●●.  Makes me feel weak. Like I'm that "depressed" guy but for no f●●●ing reason like what the f●●●! I don't know much and I've heard it can just happen but even if that is true I still feel like a weak little b●●●●. Maybe I'm just stupid and a lot of people go through this same kind of anger. Maybe I really am just a weak little b●●●●. If you have any insight on the matter well share I guess.  

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Posted (edited)
34 minutes ago, Adam159900 said:

Well if you know me you know I have "depression" or something I guess. If you don't well I might have "depression" or something. So I just gotta say that I am just mad at myself. I never went through anything traumatic or significantly terrible to give me this  "depression".  That is what just pisses me off. It just f●●●ing happened. Makes me feel like a dumb f●●●ing b●●●●.  Makes me feel weak. Like I'm that "depressed" guy but for no f●●●ing reason like what the f●●●! I don't know much and I've heard it can just happen but even if that is true I still feel like a weak little b●●●●. Maybe I'm just stupid and a lot of people go through this same kind of anger. Maybe I really am just a weak little b●●●●. If you have any insight on the matter well share I guess.  

I feel the same thing about my illness...when symptoms come, I'm like...why can't things just be a simple mind for me in terms of like...quality...and it's like I do whatever posdible to keep a fight up my whole life no matter what happens...

look, when things go down emotionally or whatever like that, I do whatever for my own health...I have depression too because of my so called mental pain...but I get comfortable by 'knowing' those are just harmonies and currents of mine in life around me and my own and I keep my world harmoniously good however I can without doing anything bad as best I can...

i say to myself if I'm gonna get mental pain, I connect it with something and imagine closing a door on it mentally, if not, I imagine a door closing on me mentally and if it happens to be like an important door...I'm like I'm gonna have the fight in me so much more considering how important the door is to me that much more...

look, stay strong, Adam...there are always echoes of solutions to everything...for to me, I know it's a matter of activation...I mean it's your health Adam...

things are gonna be okay Adam...

 

Edited by Drifter Kane

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I beat myself up like this pretty often. Depression can absolutely just spontaneously happen, and you aren’t weak or a b●●●● or anything like that. It’s definitely unfair, but it’s not something to be ashamed of. I hope this darker patch passes for you soon, and you aren’t alone. 

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Posted (edited)

I hope you get strengthened by these things of negativity Adam...but not every bad thing can give you strength... 

Then again, I think and feel that getting in bad straits is not necessary for getting stronger through failure...

Edited by Drifter Kane

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57 minutes ago, Adam159900 said:

Well if you know me you know I have "depression" or something I guess. If you don't well I might have "depression" or something. So I just gotta say that I am just mad at myself. I never went through anything traumatic or significantly terrible to give me this  "depression".  That is what just pisses me off. It just f●●●ing happened. Makes me feel like a dumb f●●●ing b●●●●.  Makes me feel weak. Like I'm that "depressed" guy but for no f●●●ing reason like what the f●●●! I don't know much and I've heard it can just happen but even if that is true I still feel like a weak little b●●●●. Maybe I'm just stupid and a lot of people go through this same kind of anger. Maybe I really am just a weak little b●●●●. If you have any insight on the matter well share I guess.  

I've been there myself too.  Yeah some things can trigger depression sure, but just because one cannot pin point what, when or why or even the who of it (if there is one,,, generally speaking) does not mean somehow your feelings are invalid, they are very valid as they are your feelings. If I can offer some comfort, just know it doesnt rain forever and be strong. 

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I’m so sorry you are going through a rough time with your depression but you have to understand that it’s completely okay to feel this way sometimes. Don’t ever feel ashamed about having depression because it’s very common to have and you are not alone. I have depression myself so I understand/been in your shoes before and you aren’t weak for having depression. I care you are struggling do many others and I’m here for you if you need anyone to talk to but I recommend you see  doctor if you still feel this way because there’s nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it which isn’t something to ashamed of. There is hope for you and it may seem endless, please know that it does get better with time and patience. I hope things get better for you. Sending positive vibes and wishing you well.

 

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you are not weak! depression is hard yes but you will get through it. You don't need to have gone through S●●● to be depressed! everyone can get it. You are still young

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