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Adam159900

At times it just all seems boring...

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Every now and then I just think about life. Think about what it could be or become. I think about all the exciting S●●● that normal people like me can't even do quite yet. It still all seems boring. You know about a week ago or so I thought about how killing myself might help at least five times. I thought about killing myself over five times in a given day because I felt nothing in this world could amuse me anymore. This is a lie obviously. I have many days where it all is pretty decent. Life feels worth it. Still though a good chunk of the days I just think about how it would feel so nice to just get it done. My existence makes me mad on those days because I can't kill myself for many reasons but the main one being the people around me. They would care. They would cry. So I won't do it. I still think pretty often if something that I haven't even thought of yet would make me happy or wanna live more but I haven't found that yet. I guess all of this S●●● is me just venting again so take it as you will I guess. 

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The first noble truth of Zen Buddhism is "to live means to suffer." Our desires are the root of this suffering. In order to stop suffering, it's important to get rid of all desires.  It sounds like you are suffering from your wants. The want to no longer be bored. I would counter this belief by saying, how can you be bored? There is always something to do, especially with the internet available to you! There are always thoughts to consider, people to encounter, and beautiful things to see.  

If you have people who you want to live for, then you have people who would listen to you. Tell them that you are frustrated with your reality. Listen to what good ideas they can inspire in you about your life. If nothing else, know that many people feel similarly to you, and your ability to handle life only gets easier as you go on. I believe in you, and I'm certain you can find things to enjoy if you look hard enough. 

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