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I have Graves disease (Venting)

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So I have Graves disease. 

Graves' disease is an autoimmune disorder that causes hyperthyroidism, or overactive thyroid. With this disease, your immune system attacks the thyroid and causes it to make more thyroid hormone than your body needs. The thyroid is a small, butterfly-shaped gland in the front of your neck.

I have been on medication for this for a couple years now, but my weight still fluctuates WILDLY because of this within a couple year span. At one time I weighed at most 300 pounds, at my smallest I was 120 pounds. I am 5'7 so when I was 120 I looked like a walking skeletor lady. My skin was turning a slight shade of grey and my cheeks were sunken in.  At my thinnest I was in a size 12-14 jeans. This is gonna sound so f●●●ed up, but a part of me was HAPPY  because I could fit into smaller and cuter clothing than I could when my body was bigger, though I knew it was from being so sick.

I am on the losing weight side again, I dont wanna say how much I weigh (Understandable, right?) but I know its my thyroid over acting again.

Things that piss me off about this disease:

1. There is no known cure, I will never get better, but it is manageable through taking medicine. Even if I have my thyroid gland removed, I will be on those medicines for the rest of my life.

2. Whenever I go to the ER for something, anything. I am always treated like a drug addict because I always have shaky and unsteady hands and am generally shaky/jittery. 

3. When I am on the losing weight side, people don't hesitate to tell me how I'm losing weight. Losing weight is a great thing, don't get me wrong here! Eating healthy foods and doing exercise is a great thing and it SHOULD be complimented and rewarded socially, but when its because of an invisible illness (meaning, one cannot see with their eyes) I just wanna scream at these people "YEAH MY BODY IS DOING A GREAT JOB OF TRYING TO KILL ME LATELY, ISN'T IT!?" But I NEVER do that. Instead I give the socially acceptable answer of "Thank you! You're so sweet!" Because while I am not ashamed of my disease (and why should I be? I have done nothing to cause it, no one knows what causes this disease) but I don't want people feeling sorry for me, or to create awkward tensions around me, like when someone wants to give me a compliment, but feels they can't because Im sick, so I suffer in silence, it is my choosing to do so. Society does not know how yet to handle this.


On May 25 is Wold Wide Thyroid Day, Which recognizes and tries  to spread as much awareness as possible about both Graves Disease (Overactive Thyroid) and Hashimoto's Disease (Underactive Thyroid) so that people with Thyroid diseases or Thyroid Cancer can spread the word about what this disease is, what it does and how to help a loved one who suffers with these diseases in the best ways possible. My social media will be all about World Thyroid day on the 25th and perhaps even after that. Do your research and spread the word if you can, please. 

Thank you for reading. It means the world to me. 

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