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Post jokes here! The following is a list I found.

Quote

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psychopath

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? 
Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick 

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? 
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Cinco.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk. 

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?!
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hats.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.

 

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My wife thinks I don’t respect her privacy enough.

At least, that’s what it says in her diary.

  • Love 1
  • Lol 3

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This is old but my kids still think it's funny.

 

Knock knock

Who's there?

Boo

Boo who?

Why are you crying?

  • Lol 3

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15 hours ago, Onision said:

Post jokes here! The following is a list I found.

 

I appreciate the holy water / possible Supernatural reference lol

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*Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Because his wife died*

*What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at School?

Bison*

*What does a Grape say after it's stepped on?

Nothing, it just lets out a Little wine*

 

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An Irish man walks out of a bar. 

(I will go home 🏡)

Edited by LizardQueen
  • Lol 1

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As I was headed to st. Ives I met a man with forty wives every wife had 40 sacks and every second 40 cats and every cat had 40 kittens. How many were headed to st. Ives?

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On 2/6/2019 at 1:27 AM, Onision said:

Post jokes here! The following is a list I found.

 

okay that holy water one is gold.

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On 2/6/2019 at 3:43 PM, Anna said:

Today at the bank an old lady asked me to check her balance

I pushed her over

Did you hear the Italian chef died?

He pasta away.

My friend said to be "What rhymes with orange" I said "No it doesn't"

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high

She seemed surprised

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger

Then it hit me

 

Hope you like these jokes I found! 

I didn't understand the orange one

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• I'm so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.

•Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.

•What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto.

•A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

•Did you hear about the italian chef that died? He pasta way.

•Blonde: What does IDK stand for?
Brunette: I don’t know
Blonde: Why doesn’t anyone know!

•What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? "Omg, donut seeds!"

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3 hours ago, Anna said:

What rhymes with orange was supposed to be a question, but instead the joke was that the person said that "what" doesn't rhyme with "orange". Make sense?

Ohh yeah, it's just you typed be so I thought she was telling them to be something that rhymes with "orange" and I was like "what rhymes with orange that is something someone can be?"

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