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Celery Amy

How did you quit?

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How did you get out of an eating disorder, drugs, depression, an abusive relationship, or any adictive thing that was ruining your life?

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I was in an abusive relationship some years ago. We were going to the same school and I was terrified everyday. After a year when there was only 2 months left of the semester, I broke up through atext because I was too afraid of doing it f2f. He replied that if he ever saw me again, he would beat me up. I skipped school for the rest of the semester and only showed up on the exam and graduation seremony.

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I was in two abusive relationships.. back to back... first one I was basically being held hostage in LA and I had no family in LA and I was stuck... I was staying with his mom and his sister and himself and when they weren't home he would hurt me. Eventually he was gone one day and I begged his mom to help me and she got me a plane ticket and I escaped. Second abusive relationship he followed me up to Vegas where I live now and he basically choked me one night to where I almost blacked out and was just swinging and a punching and after the fight I realized that I had to get TF out .... He hated Vegas so I told him if he flew back home I would follow him and he got on a plane and I stayed behind and never saw him again. That didn't stop him from trying to threaten me over and over on FB but by that time I was safe and thousands of miles away.

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I was addicted to sleeping medication before, I loved how it made me feel right before it'd knock me out. It wasn't anything to exactly cause harm, could have potentially. One night I had taken about 3 ambien, snuck out of the house with my keys and drove to Walmart. I almost hit one of those big mail boxes that you see in townhome/HOA communities. I corrected my course in time so I didn't hit it and made it to the store. I ended up buying $76 worth of groceries..including a huge $20 bag of shredded cheese????

I ran into my dad while there, he knew I was fucked up so he took me home after I purchased my nonsensical items. That situation had scared me so bad I decided to stop taking the medication, and I ended up taking it to my doctor telling her I no longer needed it. I went back to struggling with horrible insomnia for a few years (now controlled after getting on the right meds - not addictive). Which honestly, in hindsight, it was better to have insomnia than deal with an addictive medication.

That's really the only time I've dealt with addiction, was not a good time in my life but I'm better now. <3  

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I got addicted to opiate painkillers when i was like 15/16 (started taking them at 15 but only sporadically, was definitely addicted by 16/17)    I went through withdrawal cold turkey so many times and always started taking them again because i had underlying mental illness that wasnt diagnosed so when i got off of them the issues underneath would keep me from ever getting to a state where i was able to feel normal.  eventually i went on methadone and then suboxone  in my early 20s and that helped for a few years while i sought treatment to figure out my mental issues.  i eventually got off the suboxone (kind of against my choice, i had a psychiatric issues at my clinic and had a panic attack/autism overload-meltdown but nobody even knew i had autism at the time so they kicked me out of the program (if you've never seen an autism meltdown--- they can be pretty intense and jarring and i guess i was acting violently but i wasnt hurting anybody, just kind of flailing around and kicking furniture- still, drug programs put up with NOTHING even if you're mentally ill and have a reason for it-- i was also having a reaction to them switching my medication and i was trying to tell them that but they didnt listen)  i eventually switched doctors after that blow out and found help at Dartmouth Hospital where i still go for treatment.  I use poppy tea  which has some opiate content but not nearly as intense or addictive as doing painkillers.  now in  controlled doses to control my pain (i have ehlers danlos, fibromyalgia, some cervical disc arthritis, and a hyperextension in my ankle which is oddly enough what gives me the most pain because it effects the way i walk which throws off my hip, then throws off my back and just the whole way i move makes my pain flare up elsewhere)  but my doctor is trying to get me into a pain management program so hopefully i dont have to self-med. with tea anymore.  either way, i grow the flowers for the tea in my garden and i feel a lot better about drinking something natural for my pain than taking drugs.    
so i guess the short answer is--- to help with drug addiction you have to treat underlying issues that caused it - whether it be pain or mental emotional or psychiatric problems... unless youre using them just to party, most of the time drugs are used as self medication for a ton of diff issues-- when i started using them at 15 i didnt even know what those issues were, i just knew that i felt horrible and needed to make that 'feeling' go away.  i know what that feeling is now and can at least try to work through it through different things.  whether it be medication, or taking a time out to cry and cuddle my service dog and watch a comedy special until i feel okay enough to face the world.  i also was able to get on disability now that my prob. has been actually diagnosed which has helped to keep stress down so that i dont try to do too much and overwhelm myself.  i want to start working again at some point but i'm taking it slowly and only taking on a little bit at a time what i can handle.  like, ive been doing work for family and family friends and coworkers of family (i do photography jobs and massage therapy but mostly for people that i know so theres less stress since its for people that understand my limits and i dont have to use up 'spoons' just trying to hold up the front that i'm a perfectly normal functioning human being lol.   I have no prob. talking about drug use if anyone else is ever struggling.  its a hard thing to admit you have/had a problem and the struggle is real.  

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1 hour ago, XerinaNova said:

 One night I had taken about 3 ambien, snuck out of the house with my keys and drove to Walmart. I almost hit one of those big mail boxes that you see in townhome/HOA communities. I corrected my course in time so I didn't hit it and made it to the store. I ended up buying $76 worth of groceries..including a huge $20 bag of shredded cheese????

Ambien is such a weird drug.  I am prescribed it but dont abuse it, only take it when i'm really struggling to sleep and know i have something important that i need to be able to go to sleep and be rested for the next day and i'll take it early so i have plenty of time to sleep and wear off.  but yea there were def. times where i've taken it and still didnt fall asleep but just ended up doing weird things like going on food binges in the middle of the night... wake up with chocolate all over my pillow and an empty jar of nutella and a handful of weird facebook posts or whole facebook msg conversation that i dont remember having  like..... i dont remember any of this but apparently i had a little slumber party by myself in my room last night lol.  
i still have a script for it but i havent taken it in months.  ive been experiencing some insomnia again though im prob.  just get another refill of ativan and use my anxiety medication for insomnia purposes as well since usually my insomnia is anxiety/overthinking related like too many thoughts or worries about the next day that i cant sleep.

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1 hour ago, XerinaNova said:

 One night I had taken about 3 ambien, snuck out of the house with my keys and drove to Walmart. I almost hit one of those big mail boxes that you see in townhome/HOA communities. I corrected my course in time so I didn't hit it and made it to the store. I ended up buying $76 worth of groceries..including a huge $20 bag of shredded cheese????

Ambien is such a weird drug.  I am prescribed it but dont abuse it, only take it when i'm really struggling to sleep and know i have something important that i need to be able to go to sleep and be rested for the next day and i'll take it early so i have plenty of time to sleep and wear off.  but yea there were def. times where i've taken it and still didnt fall asleep but just ended up doing weird things like going on food binges in the middle of the night... wake up with chocolate all over my pillow and an empty jar of nutella and a handful of weird facebook posts or whole facebook msg conversation that i dont remember having  like..... i dont remember any of this but apparently i had a little slumber party by myself in my room last night lol.  
i still have a script for it but i havent taken it in months.  ive been experiencing some insomnia again though im prob.  just get another refill of ativan and use my anxiety medication for insomnia purposes as well since usually my insomnia is anxiety/overthinking related like too many thoughts or worries about the next day that i cant sleep.

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I still struggle with many things, but I'm actively working on them. I got out of an abusive relationship with my father and stepmother 3 years ago. I had lots of help and support from Child Protective Services, therapists, and workers at the psychiatric hospital I was in at the time, but in the end, I was the one who had to tell my father I would no longer be seeing him. It was a really hard thing to do, and I still feel guilty for abandoning my father at times, but it has definitely helped me. I have not been actively suicidal since I stopped seeing them, which is huge for me.  

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7 hours ago, AnnaSantina said:

I got addicted to opiate painkillers when i was like 15/16 (started taking them at 15 but only sporadically, was definitely addicted by 16/17)    I went through withdrawal cold turkey so many times and always started taking them again because i had underlying mental illness that wasnt diagnosed so when i got off of them the issues underneath would keep me from ever getting to a state where i was able to feel normal.  eventually i went on methadone and then suboxone  in my early 20s and that helped for a few years while i sought treatment to figure out my mental issues.  i eventually got off the suboxone (kind of against my choice, i had a psychiatric issues at my clinic and had a panic attack/autism overload-meltdown but nobody even knew i had autism at the time so they kicked me out of the program (if you've never seen an autism meltdown--- they can be pretty intense and jarring and i guess i was acting violently but i wasnt hurting anybody, just kind of flailing around and kicking furniture- still, drug programs put up with NOTHING even if you're mentally ill and have a reason for it-- i was also having a reaction to them switching my medication and i was trying to tell them that but they didnt listen)  i eventually switched doctors after that blow out and found help at Dartmouth Hospital where i still go for treatment.  I use poppy tea  which has some opiate content but not nearly as intense or addictive as doing painkillers.  now in  controlled doses to control my pain (i have ehlers danlos, fibromyalgia, some cervical disc arthritis, and a hyperextension in my ankle which is oddly enough what gives me the most pain because it effects the way i walk which throws off my hip, then throws off my back and just the whole way i move makes my pain flare up elsewhere)  but my doctor is trying to get me into a pain management program so hopefully i dont have to self-med. with tea anymore.  either way, i grow the flowers for the tea in my garden and i feel a lot better about drinking something natural for my pain than taking drugs.    
so i guess the short answer is--- to help with drug addiction you have to treat underlying issues that caused it - whether it be pain or mental emotional or psychiatric problems... unless youre using them just to party, most of the time drugs are used as self medication for a ton of diff issues-- when i started using them at 15 i didnt even know what those issues were, i just knew that i felt horrible and needed to make that 'feeling' go away.  i know what that feeling is now and can at least try to work through it through different things.  whether it be medication, or taking a time out to cry and cuddle my service dog and watch a comedy special until i feel okay enough to face the world.  i also was able to get on disability now that my prob. has been actually diagnosed which has helped to keep stress down so that i dont try to do too much and overwhelm myself.  i want to start working again at some point but i'm taking it slowly and only taking on a little bit at a time what i can handle.  like, ive been doing work for family and family friends and coworkers of family (i do photography jobs and massage therapy but mostly for people that i know so theres less stress since its for people that understand my limits and i dont have to use up 'spoons' just trying to hold up the front that i'm a perfectly normal functioning human being lol.   I have no prob. talking about drug use if anyone else is ever struggling.  its a hard thing to admit you have/had a problem and the struggle is real.  

I am so, so proud of you and so thankful you're still here. You're a survivor. *hugs*

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I quit my verbally/mentally/emotionally abusive relationship as cold turkey as cigarettes...I confronted him in the shower so he could not come after me, left to go to work, had my dad help him pack and move as I obviously distracted myself at work - blocked him on everything and anything - and honestly until now pretty much pretend it never happened. 

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I just bounced after I had enough of my abusive relationship. He didn't like it, but who cares about him, lmao

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The sad truth for a lot of people is that you don’t ever “quit”. You can recover from an eating disorder, but you still have an eating disorder and still have to work hard to not succumb to it again. Same for drug and alcohol addictions, and same for getting out of abusive situations. You have to teach yourself how to look for the signs of abuse and keep yourself away from the people who have hurt you and people who would hurt you. 

 

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On 2/7/2019 at 12:25 AM, CharlotteRose said:

I still struggle with many things, but I'm actively working on them. I got out of an abusive relationship with my father and stepmother 3 years ago. I had lots of help and support from Child Protective Services, therapists, and workers at the psychiatric hospital I was in at the time, but in the end, I was the one who had to tell my father I would no longer be seeing him. It was a really hard thing to do, and I still feel guilty for abandoning my father at times, but it has definitely helped me. I have not been actively suicidal since I stopped seeing them, which is huge for me.  

Don't feel bad for doing what's right for you when they were being toxic

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On 2/6/2019 at 5:56 PM, Angels_Founder said:

I was in two abusive relationships.. back to back... first one I was basically being held hostage in LA and I had no family in LA and I was stuck... I was staying with his mom and his sister and himself and when they weren't home he would hurt me. Eventually he was gone one day and I begged his mom to help me and she got me a plane ticket and I escaped. Second abusive relationship he followed me up to Vegas where I live now and he basically choked me one night to where I almost blacked out and was just swinging and a punching and after the fight I realized that I had to get TF out .... He hated Vegas so I told him if he flew back home I would follow him and he got on a plane and I stayed behind and never saw him again. That didn't stop him from trying to threaten me over and over on FB but by that time I was safe and thousands of miles away.

Get a restraining order if you need to.

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I have been depressed all my life. My dad is an abusive alcoholic he would hit me for telling him to stop drinking he started to beat me up when I was 8 and stopped when i was 23. I don't have anyone to talk to or be with.... my "friend" is only with me for money and my car. I don't know what to do anymore

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On 2/11/2019 at 4:27 AM, Valentin said:

I have been depressed all my life. My dad is an abusive alcoholic he would hit me for telling him to stop drinking he started to beat me up when I was 8 and stopped when i was 23. I don't have anyone to talk to or be with.... my "friend" is only with me for money and my car. I don't know what to do anymore

Meet new people who will treat you better. You can message people on here. You made it this far and you will find happiness.

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