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FelixHelix

I feel like a weirdo for this but I'm saying it anyway

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I had a dream that has me feeling very strongly. I have been trying to ignore this weird 'intuition' feeling for a very long time, because it makes me feel like a weirdo, but I can't find out whether or not I'm right by sitting around thinking about it.

Gonna put a TL;DR at the end, but I'm about to nervous ramble so have fun lmao

In 2012, I discovered that I was poly, and since then have been trying to find what works for me. Many failed relationships resulted, like they do, and then I got with someone who for 2 years made me feel guilty for wanting intimacy with partners I was already dating before we got together, and that relationship recently ended in January of this year.

Which led me, eventually, to coming to this forum. After the breakup, I realized how I had essentially let myself be play-dough for people in my life. They formed what opinions, feelings, ect. I felt allowed to have, and I only acted within the paradigms set forth for me. I was a lemming, to put it bluntly. I didn't want to keep being a lemming, so I came here.

But there was another reason, which I had been deep in denial about. One that has apparently begun to occupy enough of my thoughts to literally dream about it.

I feel like I'm the missing Unicorn. I have thought about it for quite a bit before posting here, but being as broke as I am at the moment, I couldn't afford $100 to say this in a private email, so I'm being brave (or stupid... perhaps both) and posting it here.

What I mean by that, is I feel this strong pull in the direction of being in a triad dynamic with Greg and Kai. Even though I think I sound like a crazy-person, I can't stop thinking about it. I'm 25 (on march 30th), nonbinary-masculine, am artistically and musically inclined, enjoy making videos (and would be happy to learn how to edit ngl), love kids, am a heavy switch (bdsm tmi), don't have jealousy issues, am extremely open-minded, enjoy discourse, and love understanding other perspectives. Not to mention being physically attracted to them both, which I almost forgot to include because I was so focused on the personality aspects.

I truly feel like, if there were ever a chance to meet in person, we would be compatible as a trio and it would be awesome. I feel strongly enough to dream about it, so I can't deny it anymore. If I'm gonna get rejected, that's how it is I suppose, but at least I was honest and forward enough to try. Thank you for reading, and I hope you don't melt in the Washington sun today, as it has been unapologetically hot all week and I am suffering.

TL;DR: I'm polyamorous, and I have a strong feeling that I am the other soulmate. I dreamt about it and it prompted me to come here and put myself on blast for even the MINUTE chance that I could be right. I was going to go through patreon and say this awk S●●● there but I don't have $100 so HERE WE ARE.

I am happy to take no for an answer, so no worries though. ♡ Be safe, and have a great day!

-F

(Me dressed up for an interview yesterday)

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I removed the photo you posted of you on your way to your interview on your doorstep because I don't want you to be used for hate or anything by people who see your message.

I appreciate a lot of what you said.

As far as myself and my spouse, we're very burnt out on relationships in general due to all we have gone through to this point.

I hope one day you find what you are looking for... but sometimes we don't know what we want till we already have it.

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11 minutes ago, Onision said:

I removed the photo you posted of you on your way to your interview on your doorstep because I don't want you to be used for hate or anything by people who see your message.

I appreciate a lot of what you said.

As far as myself and my spouse, we're very burnt out on relationships in general due to all we have gone through to this point.

I hope one day you find what you are looking for... but sometimes we don't know what we want till we already have it.

That is totally fine (the pic thing), and thank you for having forethought that I lack in that regard!

And oooooh gosh it makes total sense to be burnt out after everything y'all have been through. I wish you both the utmost happiness, and am happy for you two finding comfort in one another ♡ With the way people act about y'all's relationship, I know it makes it mean so much more when you make it through despite their claims and harassment. I know you both will keep making it through, as long as you are true to yourselves and eachother! So yeah, rock on and all that jimmy-jazz ☆☆☆

You are definitely right on that last part. I will do my best to focus on growing as a person so that I can find love/happiness as my most authentic, happiest self! Have a fantastic day today, and thank you for understanding the heart of my message.

-F

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