Final Chapter (Book Complete)

Hello again… I want to wrap this book up because I’ve somehow lost interest in sharing my life with the world… which may sound really stupid, but… we are all stupid sometimes. And who knows… maybe I’m actually being smart. Maybe I only think I’m being stupid… or, maybe I’m being fake humble, and in reality, I actually know this is the right thing for me, sharing less. How can I be fake humble while saying I’m being fake humble though? Sounds real as fuck to me. But let me put this in perspective… I was thinking the other day “Oh wow, wouldn’t it be nice to share this hilarious personal moment in my life with the world so they could enjoy it too?” Like I was literally at a Halloween party. I was seeing the funniest thing I’ve seen in months and then I thought “Wouldn’t it be even more special if you just kept it for yourself?” It was true. That moment… that is part of the psychology that led to me wanting to wrap this book up in the manner I’m about to. I increasingly got a sense of “Maybe it’s none of anyone’s business? Maybe, stop trying to seek validation through other people and just live your life?” What a showstopper. There is a constant attitude in the online/public community: “Look at me, look at me, please someone, look at me.” But in reality, no stranger matters. We ourselves/our loved ones matter. It makes no difference if a million strangers understand/appreciate you vs just one stranger does – they are all distant, fleeting, irrelevant people to you. People say they love their fans, but do they ever take those fans to coffee? Rub their back as they cry/vomit into a toilet? Sad stupid reminder: The world itself is destined for destruction someday… so, why are you not just having fun while you can? Why are you worried about what any stranger thinks… ever? Abraham Lincoln has been dead for over a century… do you think he cares that he’s still famous? Hated by some, loved by others? Do you think it matters to him, at all? Do you think, if he had known how it would end, that he would alternatively live his life a little bit happier? Healthier? The man was depressed right up to the end, then boom. He was constantly trying to please people, then, boom. He was a social slave of American society while trying to free the literal slaves of the south. The only thing that really rewards you in life, is your loved ones/your happiness. Everything else exists to service those aspects of life. If you’re doing things that are not serving those aspects of life, what the hell are you doing? It's just like this book… why do I want to share my story with people? I generally dislike people online because they are all words with zero accountability. Who is primarily reading this book? Probably people online. Big mouths, horrible behaviors and zero consequences, all bullshit. Let me tell you something, because I’ve made a decision as a result of writing just the above… it seems like people who wind up being famous, often find themselves being ripped apart by it. Obviously right? But we keep forgetting! Madonna (look at her now), Michael Jackson (wow, you guys, seriously, assholes for what WE did to him), Marilyn Manson (yikes) and literally thousands of other people who wind up with a sense of emptiness and questions like “WTF was that!?” bouncing around their head for the rest of their lives. All their unpleasant aftertaste exists due to how they were chewed up and spit out by Hollywood/the media. You give people your art, your life, your passion and dreams, they wipe their ass with it, hand it back to you and act like you should take it with a smile. “This is why we can’t have nice things.” Imagine how many beautiful works of art, amazing stars and wonderful productions we would have in the world if all the amazingly smart/talented people weren’t too intelligent to commit social suicide by becoming famous in the first place? The parasitic sewer dwellers scared all the real talent away. I want you to think about that… we’re only getting the morons for celebrities/artists and so on. All the intelligent people knew ahead of time that fame was no path for them because people are evil and will use you to make derivative blood money. No matter how bullshit what they’re saying is, they’ll still say it all because talking about you gives them attention and that means the more insane the things they say about you are, the more money they make. Again, look at literally every celebrity ever, what do the tabloids do? What does the wider media (YouTube, TikTok, mainstream news) aka tabloids 2.0 do? They take literal rumors, and they blow them up so they can sell ads. How is this legal? How is everyone not sued into oblivion? Gosh guys, I think protection of idiots with no idea what they’re talking about comes from something called “freedom of the press”? Which translates to “If we lie about you and ruin your life, you have to spend a fortune trying to prove we knew we were lying, and if you can’t, ha ha, we made money to socially execute you and you can do nothing lol!” What intelligent person risks subjecting themselves to that? Because guess what, the moment you become a public figure, it’s over. You lose most all your rights, and suddenly most everyone can say most anything about you, and that’s it. A celebrity’s chance of winning a defamation battle is slim, especially if the person lying about you calls themselves a reporter. Johnny Depp, despite winning against his ex in the US, lost in the UK. Why? Because parasite reporters can say whatever they like so long as they believe it is true to a great extent. Their readers will believe it, and just like that, Johnny’s decades of work: ruined. Was your fleeting temporary (probably burned by now) coin worth destroying an empire? And what makes a person a reporter? Just turn on a camera, record, post it to your social media, and boom, you’re now a reporter protected by the US Constitution. Or even simpler… start a blog, post to that blog, boom, you’re “legit” bro. I’m not even joking, but it is, really funny. Like, Joker screaming “We live in a society!” funny. I sometimes laugh about it when I’m not shitting or crying. No, if you’re smart, you’ll find a way to get what you love out there, while being totally irrelevant as an individual. Share the art, not the artist. There are so many have-nots who want to rob the haves that isolation becomes all a smart person can do. You know that phrase that if you have more money, you will have more problems? The logic is that people make you a target when you have money. They try to bleed you dry, take you for all you’re worth. It’s especially easy for them if they tell themselves you deserve it. Everyone wants to be a hero, especially when the shit they’re up to is undeniably evil. They lie to themselves till they can sleep at night. Part of the reason why staying away from most everyone is a treasured hobby of mine. In classic comic books you find the villain constantly trying to convince themselves that by being abominable, they’re doing society a favor. The Joker from The Dark Knight felt like he was a gift to society… then there was Thanos from the Avengers… the man was the same piece of shit only with extra sprinkles. People used to harass Johnny Depp, calling themselves heroes because they convinced themselves he was a monster. Again, they were being garbage people, but managed to proclaim they were doing society a favor by trying to destroy yet another famous person’s life. Elton John was once accused of horrible things and because he had money, he was able to have the truth be known to the public, and the liars held accountable… but the question becomes, if he was never famous or rich in the first place, would he have the problem of people lying about him? If you want to be a star, know that people might one day look at you in the masses. This world is saturated with numerous piles of shit that lurk around in human skin, so? Do you want those piles of waste also looking at you? Do you want those people to try and insert themselves into your life, and drain you for all you’re worth like the brainless parasites they are? Well… sounds like you’re an idiot. Me too really… once upon a time, I desired that imbecilic existence. Just like most all willfully famous people: Ding dong dumb. There is so much reward in the right kind of fame. If you play it extremely well, and you proceed with a celebrity career like someone walking through a minefield back in Nam? Yes, you can do well and never have an issue. How do you avoid issues? Well… let me close this book by offering up mistakes I’ve made. That way you can avoid them… if you are so bold and stupid as to try and be famous yourself. Lesson 1: Don’t trust anyone. People will try to convince you they’re supportive of you, that they love you, and want what is best for you… which is fine if they’re genuine, but almost no one is. In reality if you ever piss them off, you may find very quickly that they only ever cared about themselves, and now? They have everything to gain by destroying you, especially money, because you’re famous, and major companies love paying people to shit on celebrities. I’m not even a big time celebrity and people got paid tens of thousands of dollars to go after me… fucking horrifying watching people who once said they would never hurt you, do exactly that, for cash, all because you refused to condone their horrible deeds. Lesson 2: Remember to live your own life, prioritize the personal life over public. Don’t forget that your happiness is a priority, because when I was having 20,000,000+ people watch my content a month, I was still unhappy. I gave a decade of my life to entertaining the masses and was buried by the same people I had entertained. I would still fall into depressive states while I was loved by the countless strangers, which really goes to show you: Love from a stranger = shit. Lesson 3: Don’t try and make real celebrity friends. I’ve known many celebrities. They will most all drop you like a bag of dog shit if they think you aren’t going to help them forward their careers. I knew a guy named Toby and he was friends with a guy named Jack. Toby had a random psycho fan accuse him of horrible things (as psycho fans have done to many celebrities), and as a result, Jack abandoned Toby completely. So I say again, celebrities are not your friends if they don’t think you can help their career. Lesson 4: Don’t romanticize people. Every celebrity and every other person is just that, a person. The most famous person in the world probably has some kind of anxiety disorder, is BPD or has some other fucked up reality about them which actually makes them nothing to envy. I knew a celebrity named Shane, Damon, Mitchell… all of them had anxiety disorders and were balls of confusion. Just sad humans. I myself do not have an anxiety disorder, but I do have a depressive disorder… like I said, we’re all sad. Everyone will disappoint you with their “No shit, of course I’m like this” human nature. Stop living in your fantasy world where you think it would be “So amazing” to meet someone you’re a fan of. They’re lame, just like you… mind you I did meet a guy named “David” who I am a huge fan of and he’s super cool in person… but that was one meet. I imagine after the honeymoon phase is over, David is not so great. Lesson 5: Don’t be generous, don’t be a hero, nice guys always finish last (if you don’t believe me, enjoy being used as a doormat by the “kind people” you’re killing yourself for your whole life). Being generous implies you are giving more to other people than they are giving to you. A lot of dating relationships are like this. If your boyfriend just sits on the couch all day while you’re at work? Lose that loser, he doesn’t love you and never did. People who love each other do their part. Elton John knows all about this. Elton John has been used over and over throughout his life because he allowed parasites to consume his social group. The same can happen to you and has happened to me. Anyone who consistently takes from you while giving almost nothing back? When they’re supposed to be a capable respectable adult? That’s a solid piece of shit who doesn’t deserve even a smile from you mate. Lesson 6: Continue to live like you’re poor. When you get money, don’t go spending it. Most celebrities make this mistake, I made this mistake, almost everyone seems to make this mistake. I spent my money taking care of other people. I bought my mom a house, I would literally pay for numerous people to eat, travel, have shelter and so forth. Most those people aren’t in my life anymore… other than my mom & dear ones. Lesson 7: Have a professional handle your finances. I’ve seen multiple celebrities make the stupendous mistake of not having an expert handle all their money-related issues. There are numerous services out there that are really cheap and could help you save thousands or even millions if you’re that rich. Not financial advice by the way… officially. Lesson 8: Don’t do drugs. I didn’t do drugs… I mean I drank coffee, did a video testing alcohol… tried wine with a friend… but I stayed away from drugs. For some reason a lot of you have a really hard time doing the same as me… staying clean? Because you’re really stupid… like painfully daft, obviously. But guess what? We’re all dumb, just different versions of it. Don’t feel too bad… I mean if you felt bad you’d probably just go do more drugs, because that’s what you people do anyway. Lesson 9: Don’t associate with people who do illegal drugs. Everyone who has ever seriously fucked me over is or was an illegal drug-user. I would kick them out of my life, often times because they did illegal drugs and I wanted nothing to do with illegal drugs… and those same people would immediately go straight to the media about how they hated me the whole time and were only pretending to like me up to the point where I said their drug abuse or other abuse was unacceptable. Let me paraphrase that for you: “I like Onision, uh oh, Onision kicked me out for breaking the law, now let me go and talk about how Onision is the worst person ever… which has nothing to do with me being kicked out of Onision’s life for being a piece of shit… oh hey! Where’d all this money I’m being paid now come from?” Lesson 10: Don’t be fucking famous. Idiot. Nothing says, “Fuck with me!” more than being famous. How stupid could you be? So yeah, those lessons probably will save lives. Literally. Like if 20 people read this book, and only 2 of them took those lessons seriously/avoided issues in life as a result? Fucking, yes. I just saved someone, because those lessons are tested, genuine and reliable… but for legal purposes, this is not actual literal binding financial or general life advice. So, don’t take that advice and then blame me if it doesn’t go well. I am a dumbass. If you take a dumbasses word seriously, that’s on you. Lol. Seriously though, not financial advice. I am not a financial advisor or any other kind of credible advisor, so you just… stop plotting whatever you’re plotting right now. But like I said, I thought about going on talking about my life to all of you, but that would imply I think most of you would listen, like… truly listen. I don’t think you would. I think you would instead look for shit you can take out of context, or bitch about, so you can feel better about how someone else on this Earth is beneath you, and you’re supremely superior to that person… all because what? You didn’t fucking hear a word I said? You only heard what you wanted to heart to validate your pre-existing ideas of me? Fucking hell. I don’t talk to people like you in real life… so why the fuck would I write a book for you? Lol. Like I get that there are good people who will read this… honest people… and those people are probably nodding their heads as they read the above because those same people have been used and abused by people like you as well. They get it. So, I’m not worried about losing any genuine fans because they aren’t mentally defective like the others. In reality I never really lost any fans at any point in my career. A fan is not something you can lose. If you lost the support of someone calling themselves a fan, all you did was cut the dead weight. A fraud who said they cared about you, but clearly never really did. This chapter would have covered my time through survival training, technical school, numerous weapons certifications etc. while serving this country (USA). It would have covered my service in Oklahoma, my volunteer deployment experiences … it would have covered my service in Korea, and helping protect the President of the US himself (George W. Bush) which isn’t as cool as it sounds… the chapters after would have covered me getting married, my discovery of deep painful depression, even when I was driven to the point of nearly killing myself while in Korea… but, fuck all that. Just got to live your life, care for those you love and everyone else can just go fuck themselves.